I am amazed and shocked at the events of the past couple months. My Hero’s Journey was well entrenched…I thought.
Then Scroll V. To go from I am nature’s greatest miracle Yeah!
To… I live this day as if it is my last.
Bam! Nosedive into recent history. Every time I read it I got farther away from the beautiful experience I was having in MKMMA . Back to the memories of diagnosis, surgery, recovery (trusting), and fea and lots of other stuff I had put behind me. I still don’t want to acknowledge the fear because I know that is totally counterproductive.
i stopped virtually everything that was working so wonderfully in my life – loving my “new” life. Everything was bopping along very thoughtfully. And then .. Days went by not doing most of my exercises, doing some reading thankfully and I was faithful to the webinars. They have really kept my head above water. Old patterns revived themselves and I am upset with myself for letting that happen. I take responsibility for going there. I knew it was happening and still I went to the “pit” not as deep as I have been but nonetheless this strong? mind of mine went down that road.
My mastermind group has been so caring and thoughtful through this time. Offering kindnesses and I felt cared for and shall I say loved. When I am in this place I don’t know why anyone would. So enough of that destructive negative thought pattern…blah,blah,blah…
i will chock it up to growth. Learning to be wary of what takes me to that place. In retrospect I should have stopped reading Scroll V sooner or used the Law of Substitution or Dual Thought with fervor. I chose to start Scroll VI early and it has been great. Talk about timely sequencing of the chapters.
I AM master of my emotions